Ban light-up tennis shoes!

It was a normal Wednesday night church service. The lights were dim, the pastor was talking quietly. 

Apparently it was too normal for my 6 year old sister, Evie. 

After the decision to make the service entertaining, she then proceeded to stomp her light-up Skechers and illuminate the sanctuary in neon shades of red, green and blue. The dazed pastor lost his place in the sermon three times, and no one even noticed because the sanctuary was in an uproar. People everywhere were gasping and trying to find the source of the strange flashing lights. People were in the aisles praying, thinking the Rapture had happened. 

When Evie was done creating that mess, she started crawling under the pews and grabbing the remaining attentive people’s ankles. They then screamed and kicked, thinking she was a rodent. The  sanctuary was in total chaos. Emergency lights were flaring, the pastor had disappeared, people were fleeing the church, trampling over each other to get out. fire trucks arrived, police were here to investigate, and the paramedics were carrying a man that went into cardiac arrest onto a stretcher. 

Meanwhile, Evie, who had had enough adventure for the day, quietly slipped out the back door and went to the car, to play on dad’s iPhone that she had stolen out of his pocket.

Best church service ever.

CIA job offer.. WHAT?!

I was fooling around on the internet, being the smartaleck procrastinator I am, and came across an official test for the British CIA. They were OBVIOUSLY luring in unsuspecting people searching for a “nice” job. (You word anything wrong, your car will get bombed.) Anyways, I clicked the link. Long story short, I guess I made pretty good on the test, since they sent me a link to the registration page and reccomended I apply. If a 12 year old can get a job offer for the CIA, it kind of makes you wonder what kind of people really work at that place.. Smh.

Middle school terrorism. Join the battle today..

Today was the best worst day ever…

I was not immune to the death trap of middle school health class until today.

“What?” you ask…

FYI, it’s a lurid trap your gym teacher cleverly secretes in your schedule at the beginning of the year.. And before you can change it, you’re sitting at a table full of giggly and paranoid kids. Then you’re learning about the digestive system, and the coach can’t read a paragraph without stopping to tell everyone to shut up and quit laughing..

So we ended up doing sit-ups. 250 of them. It was amazing, because it was better than urinary tract disinfectant prevention methods..  With pictures. And step-by-step instructions…

I just feel good.. Dumping out all these random thoughts on the unfortunate strangers who had to read this..

(It’s still the coach’s fault, though.)

Another typical moment in the dungeon chamber trap of middle school.

-Jennzthejust

Hello strangers!

Hi. My name is Jennessa….

I’m a middle-school kid who’s supposed to be smart but I seriously think they got the files swapped up with some poor prodigy child who is probably sitting in a kindergarten classroom, learning about the wonders of the letter ‘E’. I have 3 sisters, a yellow Lab, and an extreme love-hate relationship with my algebra class..

I made this so I can put the little comedy show that’s been dancing in my head all day into words.

Let me know what you think!

-Jennzthejust

 

 

 

 

 

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